Weaning is not for the weak

Day 1 of weaning...
Well, I can't really say it's day 1 because I've been leaning towards it for quite a while now. We were down to 2 a day and I've been waiting for one of us to decide he's done...but it's not happening. I hear all the advice on how to quit nursing but I've heard even more "you're still nursing?!", "how long are you going to do that?!", "you're not going to be one of those mom's nursing their kid when he's in kindergarten, are you?!"
I just laugh and say, "one of us will know when we're done." I'm not doing this because anyone told me to and I'm not doing it because I'm sick of it. I'm just doing it because I think it's time; and I think it's just going to get harder as time goes on.
I'm pretty sure he's not going to let me know he's done any time soon, so I'm giving it the first good effort starting tonight. Cold turkey. At the moment he's lying in his crib crying, horrified that when he climbed up in my lap for his nighttime chi-chi, I picked him up along with his two blankies and bear, walked to his room, sang him a little song and placed him in his crib. He kept pointing back at the living room like we forgot something...we did little guy...we forgot you grew up. We've been doing nap time like this for quite a while now but for some reason nighttime is oh, so much harder. It's been by far the best part of the day for 16 and a half months now. It's the time when he snuggles up to me, holds on tight, pokes me in the eye and says, "eye", sticks his fingers in my nose and mouth and giggles with me...it's when he needs me the most and when I feel the closest to him. I'm pretty sure this hurts me just as much as it's hurting him. Actually, I think it hurts me a little more since he's now sound asleep and I'm sitting here weeping about it at my computer.
How do I let go of that? All the milestones up to this point and this is the one that makes me feel sad...why am I not gushing with pride like all the others milestones? I'm sure I'm not alone. I'm sure I'm not the first mommy who had a hard time "letting go", but I sure do feel awful.
We'll see what happens. We'll see how tomorrow goes...